What We Learned from Being Robbed!

Last Sunday evening my family and I were robbed! Okay, no one held a gun or a knife to us and said, "Your money or your life!", but it was still a very surreal experience and believe it or not, God taught us some rich lessons through it.

THE STORY:

Last Sunday I was guest speaker at Mosaic Church in College Park. This is a great church plant - mostly college students and young professionals - whose pastor recently stepped down. Pray for them.

My family went with me and after church they were taking me to the Brazilian Steakhouse in Baltimore for Father's Day. We got to the church fairly early so we decided to make a McDonald's run for some coffee. Big mistake! I'm not quite sure what happened, but we placed a very simple order and got just about every kind of coffee, latte, mocha, etc. except what we ordered! We tried three times to get it right and then we had to leave and rush back to Mosaic. We were almost late. We all jumped out of the van and ran inside with barely five minutes to spare. I hit the lock button on the key remote and all is good...or so we thought!

When the service was over my family physically ushered me from the building (they know I like to hang around and talk) so that we would not be late for our reservations at Foggo De Chao (the steak house). As we all got back in the van we noticed that every cup of coffee was overturned and we began to lecture each other about being more careful. It was then that I reached up to put the address of the steakhouse in my GPS and noticed it was not there. A quick glance to the floor board showed that it had not fallen. I immediately asked Janice to check her wristlet which she had placed under her seat. Her bank card and a large amount of cash were missing. All in all they made off with my GPS, my brand new Blackberry Curve, Janice's cell phone, and the cash and bank card.

I was kicking myself for thinking I had locked the van but failing to do so. When the police officer arrived he took the report and then asked me if the window on the driver's door had always been that way. It was only then that I noticed it was slanting out and away from the door by about a quarter inch at the top. Pros had "popped" the window without breaking it!

We later found out that they had tried to use the bank card six times in less than an hour, and probably used up a fair amount of minutes on our cell phones before we had the card and phones deactivated.

I have spent the last week answering questions for police reports, contacting the insurance company, replacing cell phones, etc.

THE LESSONS:

1. The thief always attacks when you least expect it. It often happens when you are most distracted.

2. Just because you are doing God's work does not mean that the thief will leave you alone. I am convinced it was because we were at church (and probably because the windows on this particular van are an easy target) that we were the victims. Serving God will cost you. Not serving Him will cost you more!

3. The thief has his best chance when we are most smug and most careless. We really should have been more careful about what we left in plain sight. We just never thought it would happen to us!

4. The thief cannot steal your joy unless you let him. The most awesome thing about the night is that we gave our report to the police and went to the steak house (with the wind whistling through the popped window) and had a great time! My family is awesome!


5. Stuff is just stuff! A year ago my type A personality would have had me conducting my own personal manhunt to find the thieves who would dare target me! Other than feeling a little violated, I really don't care that it happened. No really! All of the stuff they took will just be junk in a few years anyway. It just does not matter.

6. God protects in ways we do not know. Chris, my son, is very strict with his nutrition since he is a certified fitness trainer. He asked for the keys before I began speaking because he was due for one of his "mini-meals" and supplements. He never went to the van. He said later that he was full and just did not want to eat. If you know Chris, that never happens! I believe God let him feel full to protect him. Maybe the thieves were just kids who would have run away, but what if it were a gang or professionals with knives or guns and he just happened to walk up on them in the act?

God is always better to us than we deserve and all that really matters, when it is all said and done, is loving God, loving others, enjoying this life and gettin' ready for where we will spend eternity!

Love Is Not Permissiveness

My last blog received some very interesting comments. One train of thought seems to be that if we practice the Great Commandment and love God with all our hearts and others as ourselves then we must tolerate any behavior, good or bad, from the person we love. Is this true? The other side of the debate is that it is loving to practice discipline. Is this true?

As I read through the comments it seemed to me as if we need clarity on three things: 1) What is love? 2) The authority of the Bible, and 3) The difference between forgiving and trusting.

1. What is love?

Love is not permissiveness. I love my children too much to allow them to do certain things or to turn my back on self-destructive and selfish behavior. There are people more eloquent than me, like Henry Cloud, James Dobson, and others who have written volumes on the tough side of love and how real love has healthy boundaries.

The bottom line is that "tolerate anything" love is not love at all. It is a slippery slope. Jesus loved all people. This caused him to clear the temple twice, confront the Pharisess multiple times, let the rich young ruler walk away when he was not willing to sell all he had, allow many to turn away and never follow again when he set the requirements of being a disciple at denying self and being ready to die at any moment, etc.

The same Jesus who said we should forgive seventy times seven also said that if our message is not received we should shake the dust from our feet and leave the village and have nothing to do with those who rejected the message. The same Jesus who said, "Judge not" said that we would know a tree by its fruits and we should have nothing to do with bad fruit. The same Jesus who summarized all of the Bible into "Love God" and "Love others", said that he did not come to bring peace, but a sword. It sounds like the real Jesus and real love cannot be confined to easy answers!

The bottom line is that love is very multi-faceted and powerful. We should not reduce it to just being tolerant of any behavior at any cost.

Jesus never moves the boundaries while he loves us. Sin is still sin. He even lets us know that fellowship with him can and will be broken if we persist in known sin. However boundaries are not walls. He always provides a way to return to fellowship with him upon repenting.

2. The Authority of the Bible

We cannot pick and choose what we like and what we don't like from the Bible. All scripture is inspired and authoritative and is given for doctrine, for reproof and for instruction in righteousness. (See 2 Timothy 3:16). We are creating a false dichotomy when we pit one set of scriptural commands against another. If Jesus said "Love one another" and through the inspiration of God, the scriptures say that there is a time to set someone out of the fellowship, then there is no contradiction. In fact the disciplined person is always "shunned" or "set out" in the hope borne of love that they will come to grips with their destructive behavior, repent and seek to be restored.

3. Forgiveness and Trust

It seems to me that there is massive confusion these days on the difference between forgiving someone and trusting them again. They are not the same. Forgiveness should be instant. We are commanded to forgive. It is in our best interests to forgive instantly and let no root of bitterness grow within us. On the other hand once trust is violated it can take a long time to build it back and in some cases it is better if it is never built back.

For instance what if someone were found guilty of molesting a child? They should be forgiven immediately. This is what Jesus commands. It can only be done by us throught he unconditional love and grace of God in us. But, they should never be trusted to be around that child or any other alone again. To allow them to do so would be careless and cruel and would be the most unloving thing that could happen to the child involved. By the way, forgiving does not necessarly mean that they are free from facing legal consequences, but that is another discussion for another blog.

This is an extreme example. In most cases trust can be rebuilt, but it is better and much more healthy to rebuild it slowly over time. To grant trust again too quickly is to invite the same destructive behavior to repeat itself.

The same Jesus who said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (and He did for us) also said, "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent." (See John 15:13 and Revelation 3:19) The more we become like Jesus the more we will understand how these different sides of love coexist and how love is not complete unless all sides are present.

Weeds and Wheat

In Matthew 13 Jesus gave the parable of the weeds and wheat. He made it plain that in the church the devil will come in and sow weeds among the wheat. This will happen until the end of the age. In the beginning it will be impossible to tell the wheat from the weeds...until fruit bearing time (when heads are formed on the wheat). While we can never remove all of the weeds from the wheat, the two are distinctly different and we can discern which is which by knowing these differences.

 Weeds are carnal.
 Wheat is spiritual.
 Weeds will always want power and will not be above threats, schemes, and power grabs in order to get it. They do not want to serve. They want to advise, direct and criticize. They see the church as a “service” and they are the consumer.
 Wheat serves. They are content quietly serving where they are. They take the lowliest seat and agree to lead only if they see how it is for the greater good of the Body and the Kingdom. They never look at what is in it for them (influence, status, perks, privileges, etc.) They see the church as a collection of servants acting under direct command of the Head, Jesus Christ.
 Weeds will always make it about them. When they do not get their way it does not even occur to them to let go of what they want for the greater good of God's kingdom, or to simply seek God’s direction and humbly and peacefully seek a place where they can worship and serve more effectively. It is their church. Things must be done their way. People must listen to them, put them first, their needs and priorities trump all else. If their needs (demands) are not met there will be Hades to pay and they will make sure they are noticed and they disrupt then they leave. After all, it is all about them.

What is the best way to overcome the weeds?

• Hang out with wheat not weeds. If you hang out with weeds they will choke the life out of you. Hang out with the wheat. Better yet, hang out with sinners; lost people, immoral people, materialistic people, foul-mouthed people…This is the Jesus way. This is who He hung out with. They know nothing about wheat or weeds. They don’t even know what they don’t know. They need life and it is found in the one who died for them and He left it to us to make it real for them…no plan b. Get busy. If you and I are not sharing our faith then we resemble weeds more than wheat. We can pretend that we care for the things of God but God cares for no one more that lost people. Jesus left heaven and gave it His all to reach them. We are hypocrites if we say we love Him and all we do is stroke our own egos and feed our already morbidly obese spiritual selves. Get out of the church building, quit playing games and find people who are going to Hell and love them like Jesus does. The Gates of Hell cannot prevail against you. However the Gates of Hell will fare just fine if we sit on our well padded bottoms debating polity and by-laws and do nothing to be Jesus to the Hell-bound. There is a judgment day coming and the wheat will be gathered into the barn (heaven). The weeds will be pulled up and burned in the fire....are you ready?